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Slang, trends, and syntax are constantly shifting and changing with the times. Our casual language evolves and leaves my grandparents asking me what on earth “67” means and why “all the kids these days” are saying it. Words come and go. What’s “in” today is embarrassingly “out” tomorrow. But one trend that seems to have stuck around is the way we talk about sex.

More specifically: why does it sound like a bar fight?

Smash. Fuck. Hit. Pound. Crack.
All verbs that imply force, impact, or damage… yet they’re commonly used to describe something that’s supposed to be personal, mutual, and (ideally) enjoyable for all parties involved. So, why does intimacy sound like a UFC highlight reel?

Let’s focus on “crack.”

Not too long ago, “cracked” meant someone was insanely good at something (usually video games). EX: “He’s cracked at Fortnite” was a compliment. But around mid-2025, the word took on a new meaning in pop culture: having sex. This usage has spread rapidly across social media and into everyday conversation.

But I think it gets more interesting. One Oxford English Dictionary definition of crack is: “to break or cause to break without a complete separation of the parts.”

I mean, that’s… not great? Cracking implies damage. Something fractured. Something less than perfect. And whether people consciously think about it or not, words carry their baggage with them.

That baggage becomes especially heavy when you look at how this term is often applied to women.

There’s already an idea among some that when a woman has sex with multiple people, she’s “ran through,” “used,” or “a whore.” Add “cracked” to the list and suddenly the metaphor becomes clear: she’s no longer “pristine.” She’s been damaged. Ruined. Like an object that can lose value once it’s been touched too much.

Men, meanwhile, are rarely described online this way. No one’s out here saying, “Yeah, he’s cracked now… tragic, really.” Somehow, the chronically online metaphor usually applies solely to women. One scratch and suddenly its resale value is gone.

And beyond gender, there’s a bigger cultural issue at play.

When we consistently describe sex using language associated with violence, it subtly reframes what sex is. It starts to sound unsafe. Aggressive. Transactional. And no, I’m not talking about consensual BDSM; that seems to be a whole different conversation involving trust and communication.

I’m talking about everyday sex being discussed as something you do to someone, not with them.

Why is that? Maybe it’s because porn is more accessible than ever, and a lot of mainstream porn blurs the line between intensity and aggression. Maybe it’s because emotional vulnerability is deeply uncool now. God forbid you admit sex can be meaningful, someone might accuse you of being cringe. And we can’t have that.

Didn’t you get the memo? Feelings are embarrassing. This generation canceled them.

So instead, we strip sex of its emotional context and replace it with humor, irony, and violence-adjacent slang. It’s easier to say “Yeah, I cracked her” than something synonymous with “I shared an intimate experience with another human being,” because one sounds chill and the other sounds like your journal.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe I am just too woke, after all. Maybe it’s really not that deep.

But maybe, just maybe, there’s a slippery slope between constantly framing sex as something aggressive and a culture where sex actually becomes more aggressive. With sex crimes increasing over the years, it’s worth raising the question of whether the language we normalize plays a role in how we perceive boundaries, consent, and empathy.

I’m not saying slang causes violence. I am saying language shapes culture, and culture shapes behavior. Words matter. Even the ones we pretend don’t.

So no, I’m not asking everyone to start saying “I engaged in a mutually respectful romantic encounter” (please don’t). I’m just asking that we think about what we’re really implying when we talk about intimacy like a demolition project.

Because sex isn’t about breaking someone. And if it is: I’m no sex-pert but I think you’re doing it wrong?

Edited by my dear friend Sydney Myers on 1/16/26 (Disclaimer: Any grammatical errors are not the fault of my fantastic editor. They are likely due to my not taking some of her advices. Grammarly says I’m golden, though.)